Enough.

I asked a friend this morning, “Should I blog about the good? Blog about the bad? Or clean the bathrooms?” She recommended staying away from the bathrooms because bathrooms are gross. (I KNEW I liked her!) She then said she wanted to hear about the good.

I will heed her advice about the bathrooms.

But -

I think I will share both the good AND the bad in my member missionary adventures – with you.

Time to be honest.

Is there anything “BAD” in member missionary work? Probably not. What I am referring to then, is my sometimes intense feelings of inadequacy, discouragement and overwhelming pressure when it comes to the work to be done.

As you have read in several previous posts, my prayers for people to share the gospel with, have been answered, abundantly! There are several ”new friends” which have been placed miraculously and directly in my path. I  firmly believe they are unmistakable answers to prayer – and that I have been entrusted to introduce them to the gospel.

I am honored, happy and eager to share the gospel with each of them! Yet – sometimes I feel scared that I will not do enough, that I will forget someone, or that my efforts will slacken with another. I sometimes feel an incredible pressure with the responsibility of such important assignments! I need to constantly remind myself that when I am on the Lord’s errand, I am entitled to the Lord’s blessing and that as I do my best, He will not let me fail!

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Yet, in all honesty, I still sometimes feel quite overwhelmed with ALL there is to do in The Great Hastening! There are SO many people who need to be found, loved and taught! I am usually excited and eager to do my part! I absolutely love member missionary work, in all its forms! But there are also times when I feel completely inadequate in my ability to measure up to the grandness of the task.

When I kneel in prayer and begin mentioning ALL the names of those who are in need of blessings, my complete and utter dependence on the Lord is clearly evident and I plea to Him that He will make me – enough.

My job is to SEE clearly where these feelings come from and nourish the RIGHT ones! When I am eager, excited and ready to go – those feelings come from God. When I am feeling discouraged, inadequate or overwhelmed - those feelings come from the one who would like to cripple me in this effort!

But I will not be crippled.

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This is the Lord’s work and He will make me – enough!

Now -  for the good that has happened!

Even with my internal struggles, I still try every day to be anxiously engaged. The Lord truly blesses us as we TRY!

* My sweet daughter invited 2 friends to church and they invited 3 more! How WONDERFUL!!!

*We have been able to participate in discussions with the missionaries with one of those friends and have been privileged to watch her testimony blossom until she now LONGS to be baptized! How WONDERFUL!!!

*I have been blessed to offer a dear friend my testimony of the restoration of the Church of Jesus Christ, offer her the missionaries to teach her more, offer her a church to attend next week, and offer her a Book of Mormon to read – ALL of which she accepted happily! How WONDERFUL!!!

*I was happy for the chance to take a different friend to lunch almost every day last week! It was a little tough on the pocketbook but so rich in blessings!! The bonds that were strengthened and the Spirit we felt were always so WONDERFUL!

*But the BEST and MOST WONDERFUL blessing of all was listening to my own two teenagers declare their testimonies to their peers, describe their desire to serve the Lord as His full-time servants, and sing boldly around our piano, “…And WE will BE the Lord’s missionaries, to bring the world His truth!”  Then, reading the words of our oldest son, currently serving in the mission field, as he proclaimed his love for the Savior and His glorious gospel! These are, by far, the most cherished blessings of all.

So, even though I have great challenges to personally overcome, I also know there is incredible joy to be felt, as I just keep trying.

Though at times I feel most inadequate to face all the responsibilities of The Great Hastening, the Spirit tells me that my little, humble, almost insignificant daily choices, like taking a friend to lunch, is pleasing to the Lord.

So, I will keep trying.

For with the Lord’s help,

I will be…..

enough. 

 

 

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(Images courtesy of lds.org Media Library)

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Enough.

  1. Lorie

    I have enjoyed reading about your insights. I too am attempting to be the best member missionary I can be and what a blessing it has been for me since I first started my journey back in 97. In fact I am giving another Book of Mormon to a friend tomorrow. and as usual having the anxiety panic attacks that I always get when the time comes to hand over my “package of love.” Keep postin:)

    1. April McMurtrey Post author

      Lorie, how wonderful! I will be praying for you and the recipient of your package of love!! Thank you for your efforts in the hastening!!

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